The Life & Times Of A Bartender Part 2

Part 2 of my bartending story revolves around my brother.  I am sure everybody has a person like my brother in there family. Ornery, practical joker, loves to aggravate, teases anybody they come across, and nobody they come across is a stranger. My family happens to have two of those kind of people. My brother and of course yours truly. ME.

butchsbday4My brother is so ornery. He’s older then me so I always tell everybody that I learned from him. My brother’s name is Butch. He use to be a drinker , but after so many DUI’s he quit. When he did drink he always ended up at the bar I bartended at. He would do or say such funny things that you would have to laugh at him. We would have the whole bar laughing at us because he would start on me and it would become a competition of who could say or do the funniest things to each other.

So the story goes…. My brother was turning 50.  I thought this was a perfect chance for me to get one on him. I decided to have a 50th birthday party for him. I must say all my customers and anybody else that ever came in contact with my brother was in on this one.  We all owed him in one way or another.

butchsbday3 butchsbday11I hired a belly dancer for him and made sure he didn’t have much to drink that day.  We had a hell of a turn out for this party. Everybody and their brother turned out for it. When my brother came into the bar he knew something was up.

I took him to the back of the bar and sat him in the middle of everybody. He knew something was up when he heard this voice yelling for him.  This voice was not only yelling she was screaming his name.

Oh yea I forgot to tell you about the belly dancer.  She weighed 475 pounds and was about 5ft 7in.

When Butch saw this I knew I was in for some bad times. The big woman done her thing with him, as Butch was yelling for a case of tequila, which he never got.

When she was done I apologized to him and sat him back down. I explained that the real belly dancer was coming out in a minute. The belly dancing music started up and a small lady with long blonde hair, a geisha outfit and a mask came dancing out. As she danced towards my brother you could see his face turning red. She went up to him in a sexy way and Butch busted out laughing. This belly dancer had a note across her belly that read “DON’T TOUCH ME, I AM YOUR MOTHER “! That’s right we had to get our orneriness someplace. It was our 78 year old mother!  That was the best part of the party.


Believe me his friends and family knew that even Butch didn’t deserve this kind of a surprise! I explain it this way “ you can’t stop a woman when she’s out of control”. The only thing I dread is when I turn 50. Oh No!  look out world, I might hibernate.