The Life & Times Of A Bartender Part 8

I know I am falling behind on these chapters but you have to understand. I do this for fun not because I have to so I can take my time.

image002Now we all know that being a bartender will never make you rich. It might not make you rich in money, rich in friends, rich in laughter, well it certainly can make you rich in that because I have to admit that in all the years I bartended the memories, friends and laughter has definitely made my life fuller.
Lets just think of some of my customers and see where I can go with this one.

I have one customer that swears even though she cant leave me a tip right now she is definitely going to leave me the biggest tip, one day, that I ever had. Right Miss Vanilla Vodka lady?

image004Ok Let me tell you about one of my co-workers. We will just call her Tuna, which isn’t her real name, its just what she wants people to call her.   She hates her real name, and sees nothing wrong in somebody calling her “Tuna”.  If you knew her you would understand.  Look in the dictionary for naive, and I am sure her picture will be there. Tuna is the kind of girl that when her and her husband was filling out papers so they could get their social security card, it asked for her mothers maiden name, which was fine but she was so upset when she didn’t know her “fathers maiden name” hmm!

image006See what I mean.  Oh she was almost 7 months pregnant and still thought it was gas and not a pregnancy.  She swears that when she left her job one day she saw a 6 foot raccoon and there was no way anybody was going to tell her anything different.  See what I mean yet?

Those were just a few of her crazy qualities but believe me if I ever needed help or if any of her friends needed help she would be right there.

image008I have one customer that every body just loves. I made up all kinds of lies about this poor woman.  image010She works in an office and believe me has a whole lot of class about her,  but for some reason when she gets around me “the wild woman” comes out.  I can’t imagine why? Her husband comes in the bar with her and is rather quiet and just a little grouchy.

Then of course we have the couple that’s married and divorced and then gets back together. She’s as wild as they come. Everybody that says hi to her gets greeted with a “Bite Me”. image012Of course she doesn’t say that to me any more because when she said it I did it.  I like to please my customers when I can. This is the lady that was sitting at the bar when somebody came in and asked if I take food stamps.  I said no and tried to keep from laughing but Bite me was sitting there laughing so hard.  Well after that episode she and her husband came in bought drinks and left me a dollar food stamp for a tip.  The witch paid 5 dollars for that one little stamp but she said it was worth it. I don’t want to mention her name here but all I can say is “ whatever Lola wants, she doesn’t get”!

Well I will close for now. I am thinking of chapter 9 now, and that may be more interesting than any other chapter.